Day 90 | bigeyesseemore's Blog
It doesn't feel like 90 days honestly. I mean, right now I'm just participating in being 'normal'. This took a lot of close observation of the female personality but I finally got it down to a check list of things I should do to fit in.
1. Fan girl over a celebrity/ guy that will never love you back.
2. Be a complete bitch to people you've never met.
3. Stuff your face with food and still manage to stay skinny
4. Listen to the top 10 list and nothing else. Ever.
5. Follow back only people from your school on any and all social network sites.
6. Only wear approved Hollister clothing by the 'group'.
7. Suck up to anyone 'above you'
8. Never have an opinion, those are weird.
9. When talking to a guy, make sure he knows he's the smartest person in the world.
10. Being classy is way too modest. Fuck being classy.
So far, it's not working for me very well. Guess I'll just have to wait it out and hopefully stupid people will have a way of just disappearing. I did kinda sorta find this one guy I'm into I guess. So that's a step in the right direction. I'm going on this class trip thing and we're going on a cruise sorta thing one night, and there's gonna be this dance and everything. So I figured I'd act like it was a big deal I was gonna ask him to dance. I mean, he's cool and everything, so whatever. It's honestly the least of my worries right now.
Sleeping, however, is a worry. I think we're going on 9 days or so since I've slept. Fucking crazy, right? I hate it. I've given up on even trying, I'm just too lonely. Like, I can't sleep if I don't have someone next to me or atleast talk to someone before I go to sleep. Even now though, it's like talking to someone isn't enough, and we're kidding ourselves if we think we're gonna find a guy who doesn't freak me out who would just sleep next to me. So I guess I'll just wait it out.I mean, looking on the 'bright' side, it gives me sometime to think. Which usually isn't a good thing..usually ends up with me having somewhat of a mental breakdown, but that's alright I guess.
I really just want something to hold me together. Like, things won't be perfect anytime soon, but I need something to keep me from falling apart.
Guess I'll find it eventually.
So uh, to put things frankly,
Here's to 90 days of not trying to destroy myself.
Figured out I'm supposed to be proud of this.
"Your the one thing I want that I never did have."
Previous PostsDay 3, posted May 15th, 2013
Day 1, posted May 13th, 2013
Day 0, posted May 12th, 2013
Day 24, posted May 10th, 2013
Day 20, posted May 6th, 2013
Day 18, posted May 4th, 2013
Day 17, posted May 3rd, 2013
Day 16, posted May 2nd, 2013
Day 14, posted April 30th, 2013, 1 comment
Day 13, posted April 29th, 2013
Day 12, posted April 28th, 2013
Day 10, posted April 26th, 2013, 1 comment
Day 3, posted April 19th, 2013
Day 25, posted April 16th, 2013
Day 21, posted April 12th, 2013
Day 20, posted April 11th, 2013
Day 19, posted April 10th, 2013
Day 18, posted April 9th, 2013
Day 17, posted April 8th, 2013
Day 15, posted April 6th, 2013
Day 12, posted April 4th, 2013
Day 11, posted April 3rd, 2013
Day 11, posted April 2nd, 2013
Day 10, posted April 1st, 2013
Day 9, posted March 31st, 2013
Day 8, posted March 30th, 2013
Day 7, posted March 29th, 2013
Day 2, posted March 24th, 2013
Day 1, posted March 23rd, 2013
Day 0, posted March 22nd, 2013
Day 15, posted March 21st, 2013
Day 10, posted March 16th, 2013
Day 5, posted March 11th, 2013
Day 21, posted March 6th, 2013
Day 20, posted March 5th, 2013
Day 18, posted March 3rd, 2013
Day 13, posted February 26th, 2013
Day 8, posted February 21st, 2013
Day 7, posted February 20th, 2013
Day 6, posted February 19th, 2013
Day 4, posted February 17th, 2013
Day 3, posted February 16th, 2013
Day 2, posted February 15th, 2013
Day 1, posted February 14th, 2013
Day 36, posted February 11th, 2013
Day 34, posted February 9th, 2013
Day 33o, posted February 8th, 2013
Day 29, posted February 6th, 2013
Day 22, posted January 31st, 2013, 1 comment
Day 21, posted January 30th, 2013
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