Day 91 | bigeyesseemore's Blog
I feel empty, honestly. Really lonely.. I mean today I was just sitting here like, oh, jack's gone..
I am alone.
They say loneliness alone could kill a person, I believe it honestly.
Didn't sleep last night..cried actually. Like it wasn't that screaming crying, it was silent..dignified almost. I mean, I was just reading Jack's letter over and over and the tears..I didn't mean to..I feel like I should apologize for all of this. I miss him more then anything, I mean he knew me like no one ever could. He was there for me when everyone had turned away. He was always there when it got too bad, always there when I cried, when I smiled, and when I just said nothing at all. And now that he's gone..it feels like this is happening all over again..I can't break like I did..I need to act like it didn't happen, I have people I need to stay strong for, I can't start breaking now. I just can't.
So I saw Perks of being a wallflower yesterday, and honestly it was so much like my life it wasn't even fair. I felt like I was watching my life, seeing my friends, hearing about the people that are so close to me. I mean, at least I wasn't the only one crying. But it hurt when the people around you are crying because of the things he'd been through, but you're crying because he's so similar to you.
That's going in the small hand full of movies that actually mean something to me.
But anyway, enough of the sad stuff.
So I'm going on this class trip thing to Washington D.C. or whatever, and I mean it'll be cool and everything. It's not really this huge deal to me, I mean the history of America just isn't important to me...Doesn't that sound terrible? Oh well. But, uh, I won't back in till Thursday if anyone really cares.
But I'll work on participating while I'm there. Hell, maybe I'll even master the art of small talk.
"I see that your breaking, here's my hand if you'll take it.."
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Previous PostsReturning, Take Two., posted July 31st, 2014
Returning, posted June 17th, 2014
Confused, posted February 17th, 2014
Liar, posted February 2nd, 2014
Golden Tr(age)dy, posted January 16th, 2014
Cold Coffee, posted January 11th, 2014
Thanks For Leaving the Light On, posted January 6th, 2014
Secrets, posted December 3rd, 2013
Obligations, posted November 26th, 2013
Jet Plane, posted November 19th, 2013
Comfortable, posted November 10th, 2013
Elongated, posted November 7th, 2013
"If Only", posted November 1st, 2013, 1 comment
Drowning, posted October 31st, 2013
Home, posted October 28th, 2013
Ceaselessly, posted October 26th, 2013
Invisible, posted October 24th, 2013
Scars, posted October 18th, 2013
Madly. Truly. Deeply., posted October 7th, 2013
Continue, Please., posted September 26th, 2013
Left Side vs. Right Side, posted September 24th, 2013
Continuous Green, posted September 22nd, 2013
Exhale, posted September 18th, 2013, 1 comment
Grapevine Fires, posted September 14th, 2013
Cherish, posted September 11th, 2013
Welcome To My Life, posted September 9th, 2013
Demons, posted September 5th, 2013
The Opposite of Indifference, posted September 1st, 2013
Less Than, posted August 30th, 2013
Smoke, posted August 29th, 2013
Echo, posted August 28th, 2013
Coffee Break, posted August 27th, 2013
L_ST, posted August 26th, 2013
Maybe, posted August 25th, 2013
Big Parade, posted August 24th, 2013
Untouchable, posted August 21st, 2013
Persisting, posted August 20th, 2013
"Keep Going, I Guess", posted August 16th, 2013
Shutting Down, posted August 2nd, 2013
Drifting, posted July 31st, 2013
Touching Down, posted July 26th, 2013
Carry On, posted July 21st, 2013
Fixing It, posted July 13th, 2013
Relapse, posted July 12th, 2013
A Change of Pace, posted July 11th, 2013
The Beginning of the End, posted July 8th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 6th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 1, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 0 (continued), posted July 1st, 2013
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