Day 106 | bigeyesseemore's Blog
I feel drained honestly. I keep thinking that one of these days I'm going to be happy, proud, something..anything. Nothing, I feel so numb. I can't feel, I can't taste, I can't smell..it's just all gone. God, what's wrong with me? Someone, anyone, please just help me. Help, and don't leave. I'm so sick of everyone leaving. Sick of being alone. Sick of crying. Sick of hating myself. I'm just done with all of this. I feel so empty. It's like when I look in the mirror, I have no idea who's looking back at me, I've never seen her before. I wake up with tears falling down my face, shaking, restraining.
I was at Kroger a couple days ago, and as I was reaching across the counter the guy was just staring at my scars, not taking my money. I stared at him and asked what he was staring at, even though I knew perfectly well what it was. And he looked me straight in the eyes and told me
"You know, it's disgusting that people do that. Why can't you all just hurry up and kill yourselves?"
I was shocked. I mean, he should have just slapped me. That wouldn't have hurt as much.
I just put my money on the counter, looked him straight in the eyes and told him there was a lot in this world that he didn't understand, walked out with my head up..
Went home and cried.
People always think I'm so strong,
I'm not strong, I'm not good at that.
I'm just a real fucking good liar.
"Curled up she's on the floor...hoped for something more from this.."
There are no comments on this post yet, be the first to leave one!
Previous PostsDay 3, posted May 22nd, 2013
Day 2, posted May 21st, 2013
Day 3, posted May 15th, 2013
Day 1, posted May 13th, 2013
Day 0, posted May 12th, 2013
Day 24, posted May 10th, 2013
Day 20, posted May 6th, 2013
Day 18, posted May 4th, 2013
Day 17, posted May 3rd, 2013
Day 16, posted May 2nd, 2013
Day 14, posted April 30th, 2013, 1 comment
Day 13, posted April 29th, 2013
Day 12, posted April 28th, 2013
Day 10, posted April 26th, 2013, 1 comment
Day 3, posted April 19th, 2013
Day 25, posted April 16th, 2013
Day 21, posted April 12th, 2013
Day 20, posted April 11th, 2013
Day 19, posted April 10th, 2013
Day 18, posted April 9th, 2013
Day 17, posted April 8th, 2013
Day 15, posted April 6th, 2013
Day 12, posted April 4th, 2013
Day 11, posted April 3rd, 2013
Day 11, posted April 2nd, 2013
Day 10, posted April 1st, 2013
Day 9, posted March 31st, 2013
Day 8, posted March 30th, 2013
Day 7, posted March 29th, 2013
Day 2, posted March 24th, 2013
Day 1, posted March 23rd, 2013
Day 0, posted March 22nd, 2013
Day 15, posted March 21st, 2013
Day 10, posted March 16th, 2013
Day 5, posted March 11th, 2013
Day 21, posted March 6th, 2013
Day 20, posted March 5th, 2013
Day 18, posted March 3rd, 2013
Day 13, posted February 26th, 2013
Day 8, posted February 21st, 2013
Day 7, posted February 20th, 2013
Day 6, posted February 19th, 2013
Day 4, posted February 17th, 2013
Day 3, posted February 16th, 2013
Day 2, posted February 15th, 2013
Day 1, posted February 14th, 2013
Day 36, posted February 11th, 2013
Day 34, posted February 9th, 2013
Day 33o, posted February 8th, 2013
Day 29, posted February 6th, 2013
BlogrollHere are some friends' blogs...
HelpEmbed Photos Embed Videos