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Day 16 | bigeyesseemore's Blog


Today was pretty lukewarm again. Been studying a lot, school's a nice distraction I guess. I got to teach yoga for the first time today, it was really funny. When everyone was like "Oh it hurts.." I was like, if we get this done we can have a dance party at the end, and we did. This one guy picked me up and spun me around. I was laughing and we were dancing together. It just..it really made my day. It was like, just for those few minutes, all this weight was lifted off my shoulder, and for a bit, I was, literally, off the ground. It was a beautiful feeling. 
Ed (that's what they call anorexia kind of for those who didn't know) isn't being too nice. But I'm mostly ignoring him. Except for last night. That wasn't very fun.. I almost broke my mirror. But I just cried. So..I called Trey then, at first I was faking everything, but after a while I kind of forgot about everything. It was just this pulling instead of me landing face first on the ground from it. Slept a couple hours too! Would you imagine that?
But I decided I was going to give him my bracelet. Because he hasn't given up on me. 
But uh, the bracelet is really important. Like, if he looses it I'm pretty sure I'll cry. But, Kenny (he's the guy who gave me a kidney) gave it to me. Its this black bracelet that says 'hope' on it. It means the world to me because I haven't seen him in a long time, but I know a piece of him will always be with me. But I wore the bracelet everyday, just kind of a reminder not to give up. And that's kind of what Trey is. I don't give up just because of him sometimes. So uh, I thought it was a good idea to let him have it. 
But I'm slowly starting to get back on track again.
There's still some things wrong, and some things I really need to change, not just with myself but with the people around me. 
But, one step at a time I guess.

"So you screwed up, you're going to be alright."

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Previous Posts
Confused, posted February 17th, 2014
Liar, posted February 2nd, 2014
Golden Tr(age)dy, posted January 16th, 2014
Cold Coffee, posted January 11th, 2014
Thanks For Leaving the Light On, posted January 6th, 2014
Secrets, posted December 3rd, 2013
Obligations, posted November 26th, 2013
Jet Plane, posted November 19th, 2013
Comfortable, posted November 10th, 2013
Elongated, posted November 7th, 2013
"If Only", posted November 1st, 2013, 1 comment
Drowning, posted October 31st, 2013
Home, posted October 28th, 2013
Ceaselessly, posted October 26th, 2013
Invisible, posted October 24th, 2013
Scars, posted October 18th, 2013
Madly. Truly. Deeply., posted October 7th, 2013
Continue, Please., posted September 26th, 2013
Left Side vs. Right Side, posted September 24th, 2013
Continuous Green, posted September 22nd, 2013
Exhale, posted September 18th, 2013, 1 comment
Grapevine Fires, posted September 14th, 2013
Cherish, posted September 11th, 2013
Welcome To My Life, posted September 9th, 2013
Demons, posted September 5th, 2013
The Opposite of Indifference, posted September 1st, 2013
Less Than, posted August 30th, 2013
Smoke, posted August 29th, 2013
Echo, posted August 28th, 2013
Coffee Break, posted August 27th, 2013
L_ST, posted August 26th, 2013
Maybe, posted August 25th, 2013
Big Parade, posted August 24th, 2013
Untouchable, posted August 21st, 2013
Persisting, posted August 20th, 2013
"Keep Going, I Guess", posted August 16th, 2013
Shutting Down, posted August 2nd, 2013
Drifting, posted July 31st, 2013
Touching Down, posted July 26th, 2013
Carry On, posted July 21st, 2013
Fixing It, posted July 13th, 2013
Relapse, posted July 12th, 2013
A Change of Pace, posted July 11th, 2013
The Beginning of the End, posted July 8th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 6th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 1, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 0 (continued), posted July 1st, 2013
Day 0, posted June 30th, 2013
Day 28, posted June 27th, 2013
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