Day 16 | bigeyesseemore's Blog

Today was pretty lukewarm again. Been studying a lot, school's a nice distraction I guess. I got to teach yoga for the first time today, it was really funny. When everyone was like "Oh it hurts.." I was like, if we get this done we can have a dance party at the end, and we did. This one guy picked me up and spun me around. I was laughing and we were dancing together. It just..it really made my day. It was like, just for those few minutes, all this weight was lifted off my shoulder, and for a bit, I was, literally, off the ground. It was a beautiful feeling. 
Ed (that's what they call anorexia kind of for those who didn't know) isn't being too nice. But I'm mostly ignoring him. Except for last night. That wasn't very fun.. I almost broke my mirror. But I just cried. So..I called Trey then, at first I was faking everything, but after a while I kind of forgot about everything. It was just this pulling instead of me landing face first on the ground from it. Slept a couple hours too! Would you imagine that?
But I decided I was going to give him my bracelet. Because he hasn't given up on me. 
But uh, the bracelet is really important. Like, if he looses it I'm pretty sure I'll cry. But, Kenny (he's the guy who gave me a kidney) gave it to me. Its this black bracelet that says 'hope' on it. It means the world to me because I haven't seen him in a long time, but I know a piece of him will always be with me. But I wore the bracelet everyday, just kind of a reminder not to give up. And that's kind of what Trey is. I don't give up just because of him sometimes. So uh, I thought it was a good idea to let him have it. 
But I'm slowly starting to get back on track again.
There's still some things wrong, and some things I really need to change, not just with myself but with the people around me. 
But, one step at a time I guess.

"So you screwed up, you're going to be alright."