Day 32 | bigeyesseemore's Blog

Well, this has been a shitty few days to be frank with everyone. I'm fasting right now in till...well I don't really know when I'll stop, maybe when I go back to school so all of everything doesn't get any worse
. I just..need time to think I guess.
Everything's truly falling apart. I keep waking up crying, screaming even. And I don't know why. Which kinda scares me. But honestly that's the least of my worries right now. Millon had a panic attack and is hardly speaking, she won't say exactly why but I think it's because of my sister. 
See, she got kind of taken by her 'boyfriend' who looks a lot like her ex fiancee who tried to kill her over a year ago. And now he took her to God know's where and she didn't want to go. Her room mate saw it but couldn't stop him and now she's gone. 
It scares me because her ex fiancee has been calling me recently. Telling me he still wants to kill me. The last time he did he said he was going to do it from the inside out, and I think I know exactly what he meant now. 
Its awful though because I can't help because he calls from a different number every time.

I just want my sister back. 

And today her room mate called to tell me their kicking her out because she's stressing them out too much.
So even if she did somehow come back, she wouldn't have a place to stay.

And to top it all off, I woke up to Trey telling me how people from my school found this and saw it and are freaking out and everything.
Which basically ripped me apart because I spend so much time and effort making sure that no one knows anything that's really 'wrong'. 

Everyone's telling me it's fine but I'm over here letting my nerves get the best of me. 
I honestly just want to curl up in a ball and die in till it's all over.

Sick of everything bad happening.

Sick of everyone causing me problems.

Sick of all of this.

And on top of all of that, I have exams I should be studying for.

One more thing to stress out over.

"They think you're crazy. They think you're mad."