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Day 36 | bigeyesseemore's Blog


Everything hurts honestly. Physically, mentally...
I feel like a broken record by saying this, but I'm falling apart. 
(Was I ever fixed?)
My sister's still missing, Heather stole all of Richie's money for drugs, Savannah has Pancreatic cancer. 
And it's weird because everyone keeps telling me to stop caring so much.
Please, teach me how to not give a damn while the people I love the most struggle everyday. I'd love to know how to be heartless and carefree. It sounds great.

I have exams this week, that I am going to fail because I can't remember anything.

My meds aren't doing anything for me.

I got beat up.

I can't sleep through the night, I just wake up and cry.

That's all I ever seem to do anymore, cry and cry and cry.


I hate it here...and that's an understatement. I truly despise it here.
The people, the environment, the looks of it..
I feel like a polar bear in a Florida zoo.

No idea why I don't just jump out of my cage and kill everyone,
But instead I sit quietly and let the little fat kid poke my ear with his finger.

My relationships with pretty much everyone are falling apart. I officially suck at talking to people. 

And honestly,
I just want to go home.

"Wide eyed, like we're in a crime scene."

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Previous Posts
Returning, Take Two., posted July 31st, 2014
Returning, posted June 17th, 2014
Confused, posted February 17th, 2014
Liar, posted February 2nd, 2014
Golden Tr(age)dy, posted January 16th, 2014
Cold Coffee, posted January 11th, 2014
Thanks For Leaving the Light On, posted January 6th, 2014
Secrets, posted December 3rd, 2013
Obligations, posted November 26th, 2013
Jet Plane, posted November 19th, 2013
Comfortable, posted November 10th, 2013
Elongated, posted November 7th, 2013
"If Only", posted November 1st, 2013, 1 comment
Drowning, posted October 31st, 2013
Home, posted October 28th, 2013
Ceaselessly, posted October 26th, 2013
Invisible, posted October 24th, 2013
Scars, posted October 18th, 2013
Madly. Truly. Deeply., posted October 7th, 2013
Continue, Please., posted September 26th, 2013
Left Side vs. Right Side, posted September 24th, 2013
Continuous Green, posted September 22nd, 2013
Exhale, posted September 18th, 2013, 1 comment
Grapevine Fires, posted September 14th, 2013
Cherish, posted September 11th, 2013
Welcome To My Life, posted September 9th, 2013
Demons, posted September 5th, 2013
The Opposite of Indifference, posted September 1st, 2013
Less Than, posted August 30th, 2013
Smoke, posted August 29th, 2013
Echo, posted August 28th, 2013
Coffee Break, posted August 27th, 2013
L_ST, posted August 26th, 2013
Maybe, posted August 25th, 2013
Big Parade, posted August 24th, 2013
Untouchable, posted August 21st, 2013
Persisting, posted August 20th, 2013
"Keep Going, I Guess", posted August 16th, 2013
Shutting Down, posted August 2nd, 2013
Drifting, posted July 31st, 2013
Touching Down, posted July 26th, 2013
Carry On, posted July 21st, 2013
Fixing It, posted July 13th, 2013
Relapse, posted July 12th, 2013
A Change of Pace, posted July 11th, 2013
The Beginning of the End, posted July 8th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 6th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 1, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 0 (continued), posted July 1st, 2013
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