Day 37 | bigeyesseemore's Blog
Today was lukewarm. First day back at school, kind of reminded me how much I really do hate the people I see there. I mean, it really hit me today. I have nothing in common with anyone, I don't really want to, and I feel like I'm on the outside looking in.
Someone said to me, so are you excited for next year?
I looked at her and said,
Fuck no. I'm 'excited' for college where I never have to see anyone her ever again.
And she looked at me, and she told me she knew exactly what I meant.
So there's some hope.
But I still feel like I'm just waiting for something to actually happen. Everything is so predictable, it's disgusting.
I feel like a tube of toothpaste in the juice section of a grocery store.
Everyone looks at it funny,
And I just don't belong.
"No no no. I don't want to screw you. I just love you. When did who you want to screw become the whole game? Since when is the person you want to screw the only person you get to love? It's so stupid. I mean, who even gives a fuck about sex? People act like it's the most important thing a human can ever do, but come on. How can our lives revolve around something slugs can do. I mean who you want to screw and whether you screw them? Those are important questions, I guess. But they're not that important. You know what's important? Who would you die for? Who do you wake up for at 4:45 in the morning for even though you don't know why he needs you? Whose drunken nose would you pick?!"
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Previous PostsReturning, Take Two., posted July 31st, 2014
Returning, posted June 17th, 2014
Confused, posted February 17th, 2014
Liar, posted February 2nd, 2014
Golden Tr(age)dy, posted January 16th, 2014
Cold Coffee, posted January 11th, 2014
Thanks For Leaving the Light On, posted January 6th, 2014
Secrets, posted December 3rd, 2013
Obligations, posted November 26th, 2013
Jet Plane, posted November 19th, 2013
Comfortable, posted November 10th, 2013
Elongated, posted November 7th, 2013
"If Only", posted November 1st, 2013, 1 comment
Drowning, posted October 31st, 2013
Home, posted October 28th, 2013
Ceaselessly, posted October 26th, 2013
Invisible, posted October 24th, 2013
Scars, posted October 18th, 2013
Madly. Truly. Deeply., posted October 7th, 2013
Continue, Please., posted September 26th, 2013
Left Side vs. Right Side, posted September 24th, 2013
Continuous Green, posted September 22nd, 2013
Exhale, posted September 18th, 2013, 1 comment
Grapevine Fires, posted September 14th, 2013
Cherish, posted September 11th, 2013
Welcome To My Life, posted September 9th, 2013
Demons, posted September 5th, 2013
The Opposite of Indifference, posted September 1st, 2013
Less Than, posted August 30th, 2013
Smoke, posted August 29th, 2013
Echo, posted August 28th, 2013
Coffee Break, posted August 27th, 2013
L_ST, posted August 26th, 2013
Maybe, posted August 25th, 2013
Big Parade, posted August 24th, 2013
Untouchable, posted August 21st, 2013
Persisting, posted August 20th, 2013
"Keep Going, I Guess", posted August 16th, 2013
Shutting Down, posted August 2nd, 2013
Drifting, posted July 31st, 2013
Touching Down, posted July 26th, 2013
Carry On, posted July 21st, 2013
Fixing It, posted July 13th, 2013
Relapse, posted July 12th, 2013
A Change of Pace, posted July 11th, 2013
The Beginning of the End, posted July 8th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 6th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 1, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 0 (continued), posted July 1st, 2013
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