Day 17 | bigeyesseemore's Blog
I feel really drained. I don't want to move, haven't actually smiled in awhile, and I just overall feel terrible. I don't know if I'm sick or what, but the question is what is it that's made me like this? Is it just illness, or am I also sick of life? This one, or the next?
I still need a change, an actual one.
Honestly just considering messing things up, doing something awful, just so something, anything, will actually happen.
I'm beginning to dread everyday, it just feels like a chore, having to get up in the morning.
I'm so sick of everything and everyone.
I'm not eating as I should..Didn't eat yesterday, probably not going to today.
If I'm supposed to see someone, I'll just drink water to make it look like I'm normal.
Not just a bag of bones.
I don't know what I'm trying to do, I mean it's really not about loosing weight. No one to impress, don't really care anymore anyway. Eating just feels like everything else, an inconvience.
I went to the gym with Heather yesterday, didn't stay long. I hate her. She'll pick at you and tell you everything she doesn't like. She calls it encouragement, I call it hell.
Savannah's doing worse. She's going to die soon.
No one really knows about what's going on there.
I'll miss her, but she's just like everyone else really.
All the people close to me have a way of permanently leaving.
But yeah, there's the general update if anyone's listening,
Everything is just..
"Under my clothes are battle wounds for the war in my head. I hide them from you all."
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Previous PostsConfused, posted February 17th, 2014
Liar, posted February 2nd, 2014
Golden Tr(age)dy, posted January 16th, 2014
Cold Coffee, posted January 11th, 2014
Thanks For Leaving the Light On, posted January 6th, 2014
Secrets, posted December 3rd, 2013
Obligations, posted November 26th, 2013
Jet Plane, posted November 19th, 2013
Comfortable, posted November 10th, 2013
Elongated, posted November 7th, 2013
"If Only", posted November 1st, 2013, 1 comment
Drowning, posted October 31st, 2013
Home, posted October 28th, 2013
Ceaselessly, posted October 26th, 2013
Invisible, posted October 24th, 2013
Scars, posted October 18th, 2013
Madly. Truly. Deeply., posted October 7th, 2013
Continue, Please., posted September 26th, 2013
Left Side vs. Right Side, posted September 24th, 2013
Continuous Green, posted September 22nd, 2013
Exhale, posted September 18th, 2013, 1 comment
Grapevine Fires, posted September 14th, 2013
Cherish, posted September 11th, 2013
Welcome To My Life, posted September 9th, 2013
Demons, posted September 5th, 2013
The Opposite of Indifference, posted September 1st, 2013
Less Than, posted August 30th, 2013
Smoke, posted August 29th, 2013
Echo, posted August 28th, 2013
Coffee Break, posted August 27th, 2013
L_ST, posted August 26th, 2013
Maybe, posted August 25th, 2013
Big Parade, posted August 24th, 2013
Untouchable, posted August 21st, 2013
Persisting, posted August 20th, 2013
"Keep Going, I Guess", posted August 16th, 2013
Shutting Down, posted August 2nd, 2013
Drifting, posted July 31st, 2013
Touching Down, posted July 26th, 2013
Carry On, posted July 21st, 2013
Fixing It, posted July 13th, 2013
Relapse, posted July 12th, 2013
A Change of Pace, posted July 11th, 2013
The Beginning of the End, posted July 8th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 6th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 1, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 0 (continued), posted July 1st, 2013
Day 0, posted June 30th, 2013
Day 28, posted June 27th, 2013
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