Day 29 | bigeyesseemore's Blog

Spring is coming soon. I was at the lake with Richie last night, and the thing that upset me most was that I couldn't see the flowers in the moonlight. I worry about Richie, he's so upset about Savannah. See, she had Tourette's syndrome which is one of the reasons she was with us in the first place. But there was this innocence and light about her. There were times where you would realize that you loved her in a way that you could love no one else. 
That is what I miss most, that feeling, that bond that we shared.
She really was the light to my day, and most likely the only child I've ever been fond of. I think the reason for that is, is that all my fondness was just for her and only her.
She was exceptional.
But I'm on new medication, I've been really sensitive to everything around me. Everything is so much brighter, louder, more apparent. My head might split in half one of these days.
There's another problem too. Whenever I'm alone recently, I just cry. Everything inside me..it hurts.
My heart is hurting.
I can't sleep, I'm too scared. Of everything honestly..
I just want to go home.

"Life is just a child's game.."