Day 1 | bigeyesseemore's Blog
Yeah, we're back to day one, and I really need to work on this. I know. But anxiety is just..a bitch. I figured out my main problem is yelling, that's what get's me so nervous every time and from there it just goes down hill and..yeah. But it's not that many, and they aren't that deep. Well, okay fine there's not that many. But that's improvement. I'm trying to stay positive I guess. I'm really not as upset as I usually would be, I mean I saw it coming. It was only a matter of time before I snapped. I guess I'm just happy I made it as far as I did.
But on to something brighter, I mean it's valentine's day goddammit
Today was actually really good.
School is school, but it was mostly after. See, Trey is home this year for today and we got to spend most of it together. My mom actually likes him, which is amazing. So we were all standing there talking, and I kept thinking to myself, this is really wonderful. My sister called while we were talking and she's okay. But the main thing is that she called, and I got her to laugh once.
That was nice.
But I had this gift for Trey, I wrapped it and everything (which is a big deal coming from me) and I had gotten him various little things that are kind of personal to our relationship, so I did good. But I had about 8 or so little pieces of paper of things I had written or things I had saw that seemed to explain what I was thinking better then I could. He gave me this rose which I have sitting on a table next to me, and one of the only movies I've ever called good, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. So it was just great.
But the rest of the night was really nice and everything, I mean it really was.
And he's leaving on Sunday to go on vacation for a week, so I'm happy he's going but I mean for obvious reasons I'm kind of sad.
But I'm mostly happy.
But I'm trying not to think about that in till I have to.
Because it's probably not going to be too pretty.
But the day ended with me spending some time with my mom. She was wasted, but I guess it counts.
So that's where I am right now. Just the big update of today I suppose.
Happy Valentines Day,
"Suddenly closing my eyes, hands up for the very first time, I'm closing my eyes. Tell me don't give up."
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Previous PostsConfused, posted February 17th, 2014
Liar, posted February 2nd, 2014
Golden Tr(age)dy, posted January 16th, 2014
Cold Coffee, posted January 11th, 2014
Thanks For Leaving the Light On, posted January 6th, 2014
Secrets, posted December 3rd, 2013
Obligations, posted November 26th, 2013
Jet Plane, posted November 19th, 2013
Comfortable, posted November 10th, 2013
Elongated, posted November 7th, 2013
"If Only", posted November 1st, 2013, 1 comment
Drowning, posted October 31st, 2013
Home, posted October 28th, 2013
Ceaselessly, posted October 26th, 2013
Invisible, posted October 24th, 2013
Scars, posted October 18th, 2013
Madly. Truly. Deeply., posted October 7th, 2013
Continue, Please., posted September 26th, 2013
Left Side vs. Right Side, posted September 24th, 2013
Continuous Green, posted September 22nd, 2013
Exhale, posted September 18th, 2013, 1 comment
Grapevine Fires, posted September 14th, 2013
Cherish, posted September 11th, 2013
Welcome To My Life, posted September 9th, 2013
Demons, posted September 5th, 2013
The Opposite of Indifference, posted September 1st, 2013
Less Than, posted August 30th, 2013
Smoke, posted August 29th, 2013
Echo, posted August 28th, 2013
Coffee Break, posted August 27th, 2013
L_ST, posted August 26th, 2013
Maybe, posted August 25th, 2013
Big Parade, posted August 24th, 2013
Untouchable, posted August 21st, 2013
Persisting, posted August 20th, 2013
"Keep Going, I Guess", posted August 16th, 2013
Shutting Down, posted August 2nd, 2013
Drifting, posted July 31st, 2013
Touching Down, posted July 26th, 2013
Carry On, posted July 21st, 2013
Fixing It, posted July 13th, 2013
Relapse, posted July 12th, 2013
A Change of Pace, posted July 11th, 2013
The Beginning of the End, posted July 8th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 6th, 2013
Day 0, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 1, posted July 3rd, 2013
Day 0 (continued), posted July 1st, 2013
Day 0, posted June 30th, 2013
Day 28, posted June 27th, 2013
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