Day 6 | bigeyesseemore's Blog

Another long day.. I feel so drained. I just want to curl up in a ball and die for awhile. 
I went to the doctors and basically cried the entire time. It's so frustrating, I hate that I can't talk to people about what's going on with me, not even to people close to me. 
The cuts still haven't faded, but I'm just getting impatient I guess. 
But I don't know.,I just feel like there's something very wrong. I can't really actually smile at anything, I haven't laughed in awhile..I just over all feel terrible. 
I couldn't sleep last night, so I'm on an hour of sleep..again. 
I was so anxious about everything, closing my eyes was a challenge all by itself. 
I feel like I'm going to throw up or something because of how nervous I am. There's like this huge knot in my stomach and I keep getting so anxious about everything.
I can't even think straight..

I just, I'm feeling really alone right now. 
Which is probably my fault, I'm not really talking to anybody. 
Like, I see people and I 'talk' to them.
But it's basically a one sided conversation and I nod when appropriate.

But, that's life right now I suppose. 
But that's okay.

"Forgiveness flows through her like blood flows through me."